Friday, September 2, 2011


Dear Constant Reader,

Last night the guy who moved into my old trailer mobile home was gone so I went over and took all that really nice white plastic fence I put around it. It's the second time I stold the same fence.  It ain't enough to dgo all around, but Walmart has the same kind. Maybe it'll go on sale cause it's almost fall.

George are you a single man? I'm living with Craig now and I love him but I aint a fanatic about it. In fact I still got a couple of other nice men friends he don't know about. My consular at the hospital said I shouldn't be friends with every man I meet. What's she know, I can always use more friends. Let me know.

Your friend,

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Outta the Bin

Dear Constant Reader,

Like I told that George guy, I'm outta the hospital and living with Craig again. While I was in the hospital I dint pay my rent and that asshole Frank who manages Fairview broke in to the trailer and sold all my stuff to pay back rent. I'm gonna get a lawyer and sue his ass, but in the mean time Craig has rented the old Ferguson mobile home down on the far end and I'm living with him again. I truly love him. I forgot how much I really love him.  He's rented the garage next door cause the old lady don't have a car and he's building bicycle frames again. When we was first married he worked for a guy who built bikes for the Olympic riders and everything. Craig says nobody buys steel bikes anymore but old guys, but it's all he knows how to make. He don't have no backlog, but he's been working pretty steady since I moved in with him. He ain't making no money but he hopes he will after he gets more tools and stuff. He says to say Reynolds sucks.

And I ain't using nothing cept beer and menthols cause it will screw up my meds. God bless my meds.

Your Friend,

Thursday, July 14, 2011


They are still trying to get my meds adjusted.  Bobby the orderly is kind of cute.  He's been kind of flirting, but he can't date or nothing. Okay, I suppose it was me flirting, but he ain't resisted it none.

Also Craig my ex has been visiting a lot. He started coming with Barbara Ellen, but he kept coming after we had another fight and she quit coming. God, I miss that man. He's opened a little bicycle shop in his garage on account of he can't drive anymore anyway.  He's real excited about it.

They say I can't be everyone's friend, but you guys are different. You're real friends. Thanks.

Your friend,

Monday, July 4, 2011

Hi! Again!

Dear good friend,
I'm writing this from the computer in the dayroom. It's okay here I guess. My doctor is cute and nice and the orderlies are real nice except for Bobby. He's an asshole. They say I'll be able to go back to the Fairview park soon. See you then. ;-)

Your friend,

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Ma is fully consious now, but she ain't doing good. She wants to die. Please pray for her,

Thank you all.


Thursday, June 9, 2011


I don't know who you guys are but I'm Roz's daughter, Barb. Ma is in the hospital. She took an overdose of drugs and booze. I don't know what. I came over on Wednesday and found her laying on her bed dead I thought and I called 911 and a ambulance came and took us to the hospital. She's stable now, but I ain't been able to talk to her. When she's a little better they're going to take her to another hospital where she can stay for a while.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Still Alone

Dear Constant Reader,

Things is tough being the only one left.

Tonight in this town
where I was Born, my only
friends are the crickets.

Bye to the crickets,

Friday, June 3, 2011

Dear Constant Reader,

Things ain't been going good. I been fighting with my daughter Barbara Ellen a lot and last week she went to live full time with her dad Craig. I kinda had two boyfriends and Everybody found out and there was a hell of a fight. Then my best friend Becky was charged with receiving stolen goods with them comupters and they found her guilty. It was her third offense ans they locked her up. My dog Buster must a ate somethings bad and last night he died. Maybe just got sick with dog cancer or something. I don't know. I buried him right beside the trailer where he like to laid in the shade. And last week my pickup blew up and there was oil all over. It would cost more than it was worth and I ain't got no money anyway.  And the little window air conditinoer that Lud fixed up quit. God it's hot in this god damn tin can t railer. I can't even walk over to the Viking Tap and cool down cause Ralph was one of the boyfriends and he don't nver want see me again. All I can do is sit in my underwear and cry and drink beer and watch court teleision. I'm out of cigarettes and ain't got no money ans I ain't got no friends. I'm all alone. This ain'tt what I thought it would be like.

Your friend,
Fair Rosamund Ostrud

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Down Tonight

Dear Constant Reader,

Thanks for being there. I'm all alone, so alone and sad. This trailer park is a sad place to be alone. Too quiet sometimes.  I writ this on a napkin tongiht.

Light flickering
without sound ... how far away
the night heron cries!

Wish I had some beer.

Your friend, 

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Buster Fence

Dear Reader,

I stole the white plastic fence from that empty trailer down at the end of the second row. There's enough to go around the front and the right side past the door. It's real pretty. I hope it is enough to keep Buster off a the flowers if I can get some more.

I think my life is going to get better soon. I wish I had some flowers. And a case a Miller Lite and Salems.

Bye bye for now,

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My Garden

My dog Buster dug up three of the jeraniums and laid in some of the others. I replanted em. I think maybe they'll be alright.

Flower Garden

I planted 7 red jeraniums around my trailer mobile home this morning. They're little, but they're real pretty. I'd like some little statues. Something cute like bunnies, but I ain't got no more money right now. I guess I'll still have to settle for the bending over lady sign thing. The paint is starting to come off, but I still like it. Lud gave it to me. He said it reminded him of me. Ain't that sweet?

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The End of the World

I spent all day yesterday down at the Tap, drinking beer and trying to get one of the guys to home with. Just in case it really was the end. Eventually I did go out to the parking lot with a guy, but I ain't saying who cause it was getting late and we were both desperate. It wasn't so hard to get picked up when I were young.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

PS. At least for now I lost my job at the Tap cause I dint show up Saturday night. It was fuckin loser job anyway.  Maybe Ralph will take me back aftera while

Cheri's Out!

Dear Constant Reader,
Cheri's cousin LuAnn bailed her out. The guy is still in the can. Cheri thought he was my friend. He weren't her friend and he weren't my friend and we was doing somethin called  "luwid in public". Jesus I had to ask what luwid meant. I still ain' sure but I dont think you wanta be doing luwd with a stranger unless you're gettin paid for it. Maybe Cheri got paid. I hafta ask her and maybe get my cut. I learnt something this weekend. Never mix three drugs tagether. I gotta member that.

Your BFF,

Monday, May 16, 2011

Back Home Again

Dear Constant Reader,
A loooong hangover. Me and Cheri and some guy I dint know partied all Saturday night. I don't know what happened cause I don't member most of it.  I ain't real sure about we did, but the guy at the desk said it was "luwid behavure in public".  When I finally got straight in jail I called Lud, but that asshole wouldn't pay to get me out. He ain't never touching me again. After awhile Ralph paid to spring me, but he weren't happy about it. I couldn't get aholt of Cheri. I thnik she and her friend are still locked up.

Your Friend,

Saturday, May 14, 2011

God I could use some crank right now. You can make that yourself you know. I know Cheri does.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Ray and Becky

Dear Constant Reader,

I's still working at the Viking Tap on weekends. It's o.k. I spose, but it don't pay shit and the tips suck. I get a little fun time with Ralph when his wife isn't around though. I'm still seeing Lud too, but he don't come to the Tap much cause his wife is there mostly. A girl can have a full time man legal like or a whole bunch of part time guys. A bunch is a sure lot more fun, but sure is a bitch keeping all the stories right.

Ray's still in jail. With the all the jobs in the shitter, Becky says that even a working girl selling her love ain't been reglar and she ain't been able to raise no bail. She says he's a goddamn loser anyway. We oughta have a fund raiser down at the Tap. They owe 'em. Ray's always been their best customer. Dammit they owe him.

Bye for now,
your friend

Thursday, April 21, 2011

New Job!

Dear Constant Reader,

Sorry I haven't writ this week. I been busy with problems with Social Services and Barbara Ellen and Art, her boyfriend. Man, you coulda fooled me, he didn't look that old to me either. And married with three kids!

Good news! The sign said "Employment Opportunity". And I got it! I got a job! I start next weekend working  tables at The Viking Tap and Burgers. Ralph says that if I do real good I can maybe work week nights instead. I'd like that 'cause Saturday is when I get to spend time with Lud. A girl's gotta have a little loving once in a while, and I don't mean that damn quick stuff like when Lud stops for half an hour after work on his way to this goddamn wife. It only pays minimum, but Cheri says you don't have to declare tips cause it ain't income. It's the law. I'm real excited. I get some cash, getta be around fun people and I get all the Miller Lite I can drink while I'm on the clock. And besides Ralph is kinda cute for a big hairy old guy. I really ain't that crazy about Lud anyhow. Damn, outta beer and cigarettes again. Have you ever notice how ya turn out of both at the same time? Why is that?

Bye bye!
Your friend, Roz

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bad News At Fairview

Constant Reader,
The fucking cops were over here today asking a lot of goddamn questions. What a bunch of assholes. What'd they care where Ray got all those computers? Well after the shit hit fan Ray's back in jail again until Becky can raise bail. Man, that's a bunch a extra tricks, but she's a real hard worker. Maybe I can send a few extras to her. And then of course Becky came and wanted her old computer back, so I'm stuck with this old slow-mo piece of shit here. I'm sure glad I was wearing my leopard underwear when they came to the door. I think that that officer Jackson guy likes me. I said to call me later. He said he couldn't do it, but I think he just said it for the other guy to hear.

Bye-bye for now.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tuesday Afternoon

Dear Reader,
I'm hungover and out of cigarettes and Miller again. The Juvenile Cops was around again today about Barbara Ellen. Damn, talk about an fuckin inquisition. How the hell do they expect me to know where she is every minute of the day or me make her go to school?  And selling drugs?  For Christ's sake, it wasn't drugs, it was weed. What do they expect, she's just a kid. I don't know where she got a hold of the meth though. I checked with both Becky and Sue and they didn't give any to her. I don't know when her court date is. I hope she gets that cute judge again. I think he likes me.


Monday, April 11, 2011

Monday Morning

Dear Reader,
Still hungover. Lud went home to his wife about noon yesterday. Of course NASCAR was on yesterday so Becky came over with her youngest, Princess, the girl from her second marriage to Jimmy. I can't imagine why she married that loser twice. It seems like he was always in jail for something. We had almost a case of beer and some chips left from Saturday, so we just put our feet up, smoked and tailgated in our underwear right here in the trailer until both the cigarettes and beer were gone. It's good to have friends to share good times with.

Bye for now.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Sunday Morning

Dear Reader,
Jesus I'm hungover. Too much Miller Lite. We got so damned drunk that Lud couldn't even get home to his goddamn wife last night. She's been calling all morning, but I ain't telling that woman nothin. My dog Buster loves beer too and we kept giving him more and more last night until he was damn hammered. He was stumbling around. He finally couldn't stand up at all. Even his barking was slurred. It was fuckin funny. He puked and shitting all over all over he trailer. I'll clean it up later. Poor Buster is hungover too.

Bye for now
P.S. I'm going to lay down for a while til my head feels better before I clean up this mess.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Computers For Sale

Dear Reader,
If you need a new computer, Becky's boyfriend Ray has three of them, still in the boxes with BEST BUY stickers still on them. The stickers say $799 but he'll sell them for $200 each to people he knows. Ray said the manager at BEST BUY told him they didn't sell and he could have them free just for hauling them away. Sometimes good things just happen to good people.

Bye bye for now.